3rd February, 2017
Heads around the MYOB offices exploded late last week when American rapper and singer Nicki Minaj put up a since-deleted tweet implying that the name of her forthcoming album would be… MYOB.
MYOB employees everywhere were torn: would this be good or bad for business?
Minaj, after all, isn’t what you’d consider a wallflower when it comes to flashing flesh and gyrating on stage and in film clips.
On the other hand, with nearly 21 million Twitter followers and her status as one of the most influential female rappers of all time, an association with Minaj could be considered very good for business in terms of publicity.
Personally, I’d love to hitch my business wagon to Minaj’s star because the benefits of being associated with her would be massive.
An association with Minaj would entitle me to conclude every business meeting with twerking. Nobody in my office would get into trouble if there were copies of butt cheeks littered around the photocopier. And every seat in my office would have extra padding. (Like, heaps of extra padding.)
There are definitely benefits to aligning your business with major music stars. Consider the following:
Aligning your business with Beyonce will mean everyone just expects you to keep growing bigger…and bigger…and then start offering two-for-the-price-of-one deals.
Aligning yourself with Sia will mean nobody expects you to show your face in any meeting. Ever.
Aligning yourself with Lady Gaga will mean your business events will always be very well attended due to the fact that people will show up just to check out what you’re wearing.
Aligning yourself with Miley Cyrus will mean your business events will be very well attended due to the fact that people will show up just on the off chance you’ll be nude.
Aligning your business with Coldplay will mean clients suspect you’re nowhere near as good a business as you used to be but, somehow, they’ll stay loyal to you anyway.
Aligning yourself with the Rolling Stones will mean clients remain loyal to you purely on the grounds that they absolutely cannot believe you’re still in business. (Note: the same will also apply if you align yourself with Tony Bennett, but you’d better move quickly on him because that particular opportunity might not last long.)
Aligning yourself with Nickelback will mean your business will be widely panned but, despite that, you’ll manage to remain successful.
Aligning yourself with Enya will mean you’ll keep making profits despite the fact that nobody will actually admit to being your client.
Aligning yourself with the Spice Girls will mean that despite your business never really progressing past its initial success, nostalgia will keep clients fiercely loyal.
And aligning yourself with John Farnham will mean that no matter how many times it looks like you’re going out of business, you’ll just keep on coming back.